I think I am missing some pieces. They aren’t essential pieces. I manage pretty well, but it would be much more convenient to have these pieces, I’d be the first to admit it. Let me draw you a picture of my missing pieces.
The other half of my bladder
I’m not really sure where it went. I’m pretty sure I was born with both halves of my bladder, but sometime after my birth, one half seems to have disappeared. I have a few theories: 1) It ran away because I didn’t water it enough and it was tired of the abuse, 2) It shriveled up and is, even now, on a wondrous adventure of the rest of my body, 3) The other half was hungry and ate it, or 4) It’s still there, but it’s on strike because it was feeling overworked and under payed.
The reason I kinda miss that rather large piece of my bladder is that it now only holds half the amount of liquid as it should. I mean, the point is… I have to pee ALL the time. I pee between every other period at school. I can’t get a drink at the movie theatre because I’ll just have to leave in the middle of the movie to pee. I can pee and wash my hands in less than 3 minutes. I’m always the one who has to take a potty break on road trips. I have to pee immediately after peeing. The only time I don’t have to pee is when I’m unconscious.
Is this making you uncomfortable yet?
My sense of direction
In all honesty, I don’t think I was ever built with one of these things. I wonder if I can get an upgrade. They can install GPS right into your brain these days, right?
Bits of my brain to do with memory
Example #1: While watching a John Green interview (or reading FMLs, I forget which one) I had a brilliant idea for today’s blog post. I think I was really excited to write about this thing I had thought of. And I think it was based off of something I had read earlier this week. And then I forgot about 10 minutes later. I still cannot remember.
Example #2: I stood up and said the pledge of allegiance. I sat down and started to listen to the morning announcements. And then suddenly it struck me as strange that the pledge was not said before the announcements. And when I asked this kid why we didn’t do the pledge of allegiance he gave me a weird look and then I realized we probably did say the pledge, except I forgot.
I forget things a lot. I also have forgotten a lot of thing about my childhood. I am envious of my mother who can still remember things from when she was in kindergarten.
I have a bone for it. Why is it so little and not protruding from my ass like an extra limb? Am I a freak?