What can I say?

I’m a quitter. I’m a giver-upper. A few months ago I tried to establish and maintain a blog type thing without using a blog type site. So, basically I started from scratch, made a nice layout and was all ready to start. And I sort of forgot about it within a month. All that effort. Wasted. So I’ve given up on it and find myself with a WordPress blog. Okay, maybe I’m not a quitter. Actually, I think I upgraded. This is just so much more convenient, what with a standard layout, a designated box where I type my post (and I can ever make the box bigger!), and the automatic archiving, and the tags. I can’t actually compare WordPress to, say, Blogger.com because I never tried Blogger. I did the unforgivable and judged a book by its cover. WordPress just looks so much nicer and cleaner and fresher than Blogger looked.

But, am I kidding myself? Who even cares? Who is reading this right now? Well, I am. I promise that this blog is entirely for myself. I’m expecting to see “No comments” for a long time and I don’t expect anything more. If by some stroke of weird and undeserved luck I suddenly gain a mass following of people who just want to read about the entirely ordinary life of a girl named Alyson, then I might change my mind. I might write for them as well as myself. But for now, I write for myself.

These are the empty journals.  Graveyards of thoughts.

These are the empty journals. Graveyards of thoughts.

I just really hope this doesn’t die like that early attempt at a blog or like the half dozen of partially full journals I own. That’s what I’m thinking of this as. Surviving Stellar is just a plain white journal with only the first page written in and it’s buried underneath a mass of other journal and diaries. Some of those other journals are just like this one, plain and kind of empty, but others are huge tomes that could probably crush me and some are just fancy and flashy and attract all sorts of readers. This is a not so private journal that just about anyone could accidentally stumble on. Being such a public spot, of course I won’t be admitting to murders or elaborate bank heists on here.

So, for now there isn’t much of a point to this. Well, there is one point. The point is that in an increasingly technological world I find it increasingly difficult to put pen to paper and write like I wish I could. I hope that by giving myself an online outlet to write, I will write. My fingers are crossed.


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